It’s Thursday night, and I’m at home. I just put my son to bed, and my plan was to write another Friday Muse piece for tomorrow, but I decided to wax non-fiction this evening and muse a bit about life. In fact, I decided I’ll switch back and forth each week between a normal post and a Friday Muse piece until I can get back into a good writing rhythm with the blog.
Tonight though, now that my son is down in bed, and the cat has stopped scratching up the couch, I’m able to dwell a bit on the week. It’s been a crazy week so far: I got into a car accident on Sunday. I officially started a new position at work on Monday. And I was able to take my son to Organ Stop Pizza for the first time on Tuesday as part of a school event.
It’s been a full week. Not bad. Full.
Even in this fullness though, I know I need to kick some things into gear. I know I’m behind on projects, and I know that I have a lot on my to-do list. Things I’m capable of, but haven’t felt ‘motivation’ to do. You know the feeling? You feel too tired or melancholy to do these things, but you know if you just started them, you would find the momentum to keep going. To actually finish them.
What we don’t always realize is that that momentum will eventually build into passion.
And that passion will build into success.
I’ve spoken quite a bit in this blog – as of late – about my divorce, about how the event took a lot out of me and left me passionless in regards to my life goals. It was an ‘event’ for me, because I simply didn’t think it would ever happen. And when it did, it caught me so off-guard, I had no defense against it.
But that happens in life, doesn’t it? Things happen that throw us off guard, off track. They distract us, they hinder us, they confuse us, they derail us.
They steal our fire, our passion, and leave us wondering where we went wrong, where the cart fell off the tracks.
Now I want to talk about how that passion that I lost is finally coming back. I want to discuss how that little spark that was left alive in me after the divorce has been trying – as hard as it possibly can – to fan into a flame again regardless of how badly a multitude of things have doused it in the past: tragedy, distractions, lack-of-interest. Depression.
A few weeks ago, I came across some church notes I took back in 2012. The man preaching that Sunday was Travis Clark, the same man my (now ex) wife and I followed to San Francisco years later to help plant a church, Canvas. San Francisco ended up changing my life – and is still having lasting effects on me to this day – but that’s a story for another time.
Anyway, in these church notes, Travis Clark was speaking about the enemy of our soul and his strategy to come against us. One particular note in the multitude of scribbled notes caught my eye. It read: “If the enemy can’t take your faith, he will attempt to take your passion.”
That one note has stuck out to me over the course of the last few weeks, because it explains – plain as day – the strategy the enemy has been using on me to keep me from moving forward.
I used to have such a passion to write. Such a passion to speak of my faith to others both in person and in online forums. Passion to toil at building a company. Passion to stay up late in the night and rise early in the morning to build the future God was leading me into. Passion to pursue the impossible.
And the divorce drained me of that passion.
If the enemy can’t take your faith, he will attempt to take your passion.Travis Clark
The enemy never would have been able to take my faith. Not after what I saw God do to get us into San Francisco and keep us there for two years. Not after what I saw God do to provide for our family for 9 years when we had a $300-$600 deficit every month. Not after what I’ve seen God do in my life and the lives around me over the course of the 40 years I’ve been on this earth.
No, he wasn’t going to be able to take my faith. Even the divorce couldn’t really put a dent in that.
So instead, he took my passion. He took the fuel to my fire, the very thing that kept me going toward those impossible goals.
I reckon it’s time to take that passion back.
It’s time to write again.
It’s time to build again.
It’s time to stretch again.
It’s time to believe God for the impossible again.
It’s time to pick myself up out of the dust, brush myself off, and chase after the things I left on the floor when my passion was stolen from me.
Have you lost your passion? Have you let depression and complacency rule your spirit? Have you let the enemy take all that is dear to you without a proper fight? Then it’s time that you too rise from the ashes. It’s time that you too remember why you started down this road. No journey ever began in a vacuum. It began with passion toward something. Toward a vision. Toward a future.
It’s time to fan that spark into a flame again, and remember who you truly are.
The easiest way to do that?
Just do it.
Sit down and write.
Pick up a hammer and start nailing.
Get up off the couch and start walking.
One step at a time.
One breath at a time.
Eventually, those steps and those breathes will build into momentum, and that momentum will build into passion.
And that passion will accomplish the impossible.